Parenting a teenager comes with ups and downs, and it’s not always easy to tell the difference between normal adolescent moodiness and something that needs more support. Most teens go through rough patches — the question is whether what you’re seeing is a passing phase or a pattern that’s affecting how they function day to day.
Signs worth paying attention to
- Noticeable changes in sleep, appetite, or energy that last more than a couple of weeks
- Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities they used to enjoy
- A drop in grades or sudden loss of interest in school
- Increased irritability, anger, or emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate
- Avoiding school, social situations, or specific places without a clear explanation
- Talking about feeling worthless, hopeless, or like a burden
- Changes in appearance, hygiene, or self-care that seem out of character
- Signs of self-harm, or talk of not wanting to be here
That last one deserves its own note: if your teen has expressed thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please don’t wait to see if it passes — reach out to a mental health professional right away, or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) for immediate support.
Why teens sometimes hide what’s going on
Teens are often reluctant to bring concerns to parents directly — not necessarily because something is deeply wrong, but because they’re figuring out independence and may worry about being judged, misunderstood, or “making a big deal” out of something. This means the signs you notice from the outside are often more telling than what they’ll volunteer in conversation.
How to start the conversation
- Choose a low-pressure moment — in the car, during a walk, not immediately after a conflict
- Lead with curiosity, not judgment: “I’ve noticed you seem really tired lately — how are you actually doing?”
- Avoid trying to fix it in the moment; sometimes just being heard is what opens the door further
- Let them know that talking to a therapist isn’t a punishment or a sign something is wrong with them — it’s simply support
What therapy for teens actually looks like
Therapy with adolescents often looks different than adult therapy — it may involve more creative or less direct approaches (like art or movement-based techniques) alongside traditional conversation, especially for teens who aren’t naturally inclined to talk openly about their feelings. A good therapist will meet your teen where they are, at a pace that respects their autonomy while still involving you as a parent in the process.
Ready to find support for your teen?
At Legacy, our therapists work with kids, teens, and young adults navigating anxiety, depression, school-related stress, self-esteem, and life transitions. Transforming Lives, Impacting the Future means helping your teen build the tools they need now, for the road ahead. Request a consultation to find the right fit.
Content developed with editorial review by our clinical team.